Day Three

Christine and I have got to get to sleep. We are getting up early tomorrow.

Right now there is a block party going on in the parking lot. Loud bass. Loud music. Rock music. Unintelligible lyrics. Bad night for a block party.



Earlier today we were driving through Anoka and saw that Anoka High School's mascot is the tornado. The Anoka tornadoes.

"Tornadoes are not a good mascot" - Christine
"Tornados are destructive" - me
"yeah, they are. Not like pretzels [Brandon Hoops' high school mascot]" - Christine
"yes, pretzels are not destructive at all." - me
"Yeah, in fact we kind of destruct them" - Christine


Today we saw The Devil Wears Prada, went past Christine's old Coon Rapids' house, drove around the lakes, and went to the Rock.

Good night everybody!

Day Two

Today we saw the sights of Minneapolis - The spoon, caffetto, downtown, sebastian joe's, etc.

We were tuckered out.

I'm on vacation.

Day One

Today I left work around noon-thirty to drive to Madison to pick up Christine at Starbucks.

As I was approaching the exit in Madison that I had to take, I was to look for a giant Red Robin and then look for a strip mall and a little starbucks behind it. Shows where my priorities are...I saw the starbucks before I ever saw the Red Robin.

The Red Robin, which is big (but you can't quite tell how bit it is from the picture):



The Starbucks, which is small (but you can't quite tell how small it is from the picture):



To all you naysayers who assured me it would take 5 hours to get to Madison, I thought I'd let you know that with two stops, and never going more than 6 miles over the limit, I pulled into the s-bucks parking lot at 4:39, just 4 hours and 8 minutes after I left! Take that, everybody else!!

Here's Christine, showing off her gel cast-boot at Starbucks:



Then we hit the road, and saw this weird car that was an amalgamation of a truck, a car, a convertible and a PT Cruiser (but you can't quite tell from this picture...):



I refused to stop for gas until we were 100 miles from St. Paul. As soon as the gas light went on I got really stressed out, but Christine remained calm. We made it to the station. Then we got Blizzards at Dairy Queen, but not until we both stood at the DQ staring confusedly and indecisively at the menu for a good 10 minutes.

We pretty much just drove, a lot of driving happened today. We also laughed a lot!

We got home a little after 9, made popcorn and popped in 9 to 5 which we are watching right now.

Tune in later, we're a thrill-a-minute duo - and you don't want to miss a thing!



Quote of the day:

In regards to Christine's sprained foot:
"At least now we have an excuse to not hike" - Christine

re-organized

It's come to my attention that there are at least three (and probably closer to hundreds of) people who come to my blog to browse the side links. I had no idea! So I must apologize for how unkempt they have been. They have been revamped.

This ought to save, literally, seconds from your lives.

Thanks!

Your web guru,
Christine

tres cosas en la casa

My head is swimming today, maybe I'll post a little bit about that later...maybe.

Today three things delighted me

1) A lovely, and needed, phone conversation with Sarah over lunch

2) These two pictures of my niece (both are reactions to Jene and Eric imploring her to "say cheese!"):




3) I got a package from a really good friend of mine today - chocolate covered espresso bean chunks! One of my favorite treats. I was shocked!! For the last few weeks I've thought about this friend a lot, wondering what I could do for her, and yet she found the time to send me the most thoughtful gift! I love her! Thank you so much, man!!

Totally Rad

Yesterday was a strange day. No maggots actually live in my stomach. I'm sorry.

Does anyone remember the Nintendo game, "Totally Rad." It hardly lived up to its name, kind of like Red Delicious Apples.


And Ally and Bill are still getting hitched!

Two things

1) Last Saturday I decided it would be fun to cook an entire chicken. Now I don't have roommates, I don't feed my cat human food (he has a sensitive tummy), and although I've been known to eat great amounts of food in single sittings, this gold 'n' plump chicken proved to be more than I could handle. I proceeded to eat chicken for every meal and every snack for days upon days.

I'm 90% sure this wasn't a dream, but the other day a fly was born inside my stomach.

2) Last night I made hamburger bean pie. Thanks for that recipe, Mom! I love hamburger bean pie.

No more secrets

This story begins in January, it was a wednesday, I was at Caribou Coffee. I got a call from Bill Lautenschlager. I don't get many calls from Bill, however I do know a lot about him - he's been dating my good friend Ally for about two years now.

He called to ask me for some help for a surprise for Ally. Sure thing!

The surprise: He wanted to propose to Ally

So he asked me "Has Ally ever told you how she wants to be proposed to?"

I responded "No...Ally doesn't really talk about that kind of thing, but I can probably find out for you..."


So the next day I call Ally up on the phone...we're shooting the breeze...and somehow I managed to squeeze this question into the conversation: "So how would you want to be proposed to?" without her having any idea what I was up to. She replied by saying that, although it wasn't a huge priority, she'd prefer it to be outdoors somehow.

I promised Bill I wouldn't tell any of our friends (pretty much killed me. I'm dead), he also told me his intention was to propose to her about....10 days later.

5 months later, the morning of June 21st, Bill finally popped the question to Ally!



They drove up Trail Ridge Dr. at 4am to watch the sunrise. The moment the sun peaked its head over the mountain Bill dropped to his knees. From here, Ally tells the story best:

"I remember the first thing he said was 'I love you,' and I remember the last thing he said was 'Will you marry me?' but I don't remember anything in between...I think I caught the important parts though...

...right after I said 'yes,' the first thing I saw was an elk peeing, he was just letting it all out."

PERFECT!!!

CONGRATULATIONS YOU GUYS!!!! I'm so excited for you both!!! Ally, you are getting a MASSIVE hug when I see you next week! Seriously, you're going to get bowled over - knocked on the ground. I can't wait!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Right, dwweeeeeeb, and Colorado Christines

On Sunday, Ben and I gave one of the homeless hombres, by the name of "Mr. Right," a ride to the American Indian Center. He likes the Dixie Chicks, and talking about shooting up some bullets at some picnickers...and laughing after saying really uncomfortable things. Ha!

Speaking of, I picked out new glasses last week; with long hair they're great - you might've even described them as phenomenal. With short hair, however, I think I might look a little more like this:



In other news, 7 days until Christine comes here, and 9-10 until we go to Colorado! Woo! Turns out the Dance Ministry is dancing to Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" again this year, and they're doing it the saturday that we'll be there - and Nicole is in the dance! I'll try to camera it.

I just got an assignment.

Love,
Christine

Muffin's favorite place

Thurs-Sat

3 things have happened since Thursday.

Thursday I went to Austin
Friday it rained
Saturday Jessie L (aka Sica) cut my hair.



On the way to Austin I stopped for a bathroom break and a malibu fill up at the McStop:







On Friday, power went out all over the cities. On my way to church, half the stoplights (not exaggerating) weren't working - but it wasn't as though a bunch worked and then a bunch didn't...it was every other light. That is one wacky storm. The electricity was out at Jefferson, but at 7:30 (the time our service starts) the electricity came on back!

Afterwards word broke out that there was flooding on 26th and Emerson. People began moving their cars, but our pastor's car was right on the corner, and halfway underneath water. Mark laughed on through it as the church gathered around trying to figure out what to do about it. I don't know what happened, if it got moved or not...does anybody know what happened?

When the hubbub died down a little bit, Joe, Anna Leisa, and Rachel came over for a little ddr action. It took about 3 hours to get to my apartment because of the storm, but once we got here we had a great time! We gave my cat a bath.....he was a great little guy. What a great, but terrified, sport.




Yesterday morning Jessie Lockwood called me, thinking for some reason we were doing the homeless outreach on Saturday mornings (and not Sunday afternoons) - she told me to stop by her salon afterwards so she could do my hair. I'm glad she mixed up the times of the "food-ing" (as she called it) because boy oh boy I needed a haircut.

She cut my hair very short! I'm really liking it!! Jessie really knows what she's doing:

Possibly the funniest thing that has ever happened

Tonight Jess' parents invited Jess and I over to spend time with her grandparents, so there we were - all of us hanging out on the snively patio. I noticed a swarm of ants were hanging out by some rice that must've fallen from Jess' plate.



I pointed them out, and then Jess and I were both making note of them. Then Jess' grandma and mom began to check out the swarm of bugs. Then the one and only John Snively (Jess' dad) comes over and says

"hey look at all the ants....they're all going after one piece of rice."

Then he slammed his foot on the ants and mercilessly slathered them all over the patio.





Jess and I looked at each other and burst out into laughter that literally lasted 10 minutes.

At first the other ladies laughed along, but as it became clear that Jess and I were nowhere near done laughing, they begun to ask "are you laughing because of how he killed the ants?" I nodded. Jess shrugged. We laughed more. Jess' grandmother proclaimed:

"These girls over here are in a giggle fit."

One of the first things I said was that there was no way I could explain this on my blog, but Jess told me I had to try.

On the way home Jess said "I can't quite pinpoint what it was that made that so funny...but it was something, and I knew you were laughing at the same thing, whatever it was."

I think it might have been the clueless yet mercilessly sloppy way his foot smothered their poor hardworking lives. What a way to go.

Rabid Kittens

A Maryland Petsmart sold a rabid kitten to a customary recently.

"The store learned of the infection last week after the owner returned the kitten because it was lurching and unsteady."




This morning I think I woke up my entire apartment complex with my hearty laughter.

A weekend at Sugar Lake

A few hours ago I got back from a conference up in Grand Rapids. We had a great time, the weather was beautiful, Herschel Martindale, one of the founders of our church movement, came up for the weekend to speak with us, and the students and I found time to have a blast with each other.

Friday night, we played Phase 10 in our cabin, and decided (for whatever reason) to keep a tally of everytime one of us sinned. I was not very good at noticing, but luckily Joe and Anna Leisa are tattle-tales and they let me know whenever anyone else sinned.* Here is the chart:



The sin chart's grammar is inconsistent and terrible. Anna Leisa was guilty of "tattletailing**," flipping bird, burping, manipulation, joy over someone's jealousy of The Daily's circulation, and covetousness of Rachel and Emily's hair. Rachel's list was: lie, cheat, judge, anger, pride, "cuss," finger-pointing, "tattletailing**", bad-joker, cute, and not treating body like temple. Emily unfortunately (and not really) had this sin list: lust, "violent," disloyal, lied, judge, and gluttony. Joe was guilty of "treats gf unlike church," being a "tattletail**," vanity, judging, and for hating the sin chart. I committed these sins: judge, pride, rage, and the worst of them all - charting others' sins.

Kevin remained (as far as we could tell) completely sinless.


Later we reflected on our list of sins and remembered 2 Corinthians 5:19, that having put our faith in Christ, our sins are not counted against us. Phew!

We also reflected*** on this passage from Luke 7:

Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt cancelled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said
- Luke 7:41-43

This explains the beautiful love for God that Rachel (who racked up more sins than anybody) has****

Despite the extreme wrongness of this little "game," we still managed to have a good rest of the weekend. On Saturday after listening to some really inspiring messages from Herschel we had about 6 hours of free time. I decided to spend the time by myself - I went on a long run, read a book and got an oil change in the city. Anna Leisa spent some time in the Q&A with Herschel (drinking from his wisdom), reading, and reluctantly running. Emily, Joe, Kevin, and Rachel went on a long bike ride and then as Emily went on a run, the boys and Rachel went kayaking/canoeing. They sank. Their boats went down in the middle of the lake and they had to swim to shore, carrying their boats along with them. This may sound like a good time, but it was pretty miserable for them.

They'll laugh about it in a few months.

We played more Phase 10 that night. Everyone sat on the floor but me. Joe took it upon himself to grab and discard cards for me as well as pull my chair closer whenever I rocked myself too far away. He also shuffled and dealt the cards for me. This was a little strange, but appreciated, especially when Joe began to attack Anna Leisa whenever it appeared to him I was in danger (i.e. when the cream cheese fell off my arm rest)



This is where Joe kept his army knife, reserved for any future attacks on Anna Leisa.



That was really weird.

Here's a picture of the cabin 402 girls:



Fashion faux pas alert, Joe and I wore the same shirt on Saturday:



Kevin feeling dejected after Joe accused him of looking like wrestler "The Rock:"



Rachel imitating the childlike curiosity of the young boy displayed on the Sugar Lake lobby wall:



The capsizeds:



Rachel's reaction to having been capsized several hours earlier:



And, of course, The Rock's newest happy couple:



*don't forget to remember that the sin chart is a joke
**pretty sure it is spelled tattle-tale
***it is possible that we never actually reflected on this out loud
****A winking smiley face would be appropriate here.

You guessed it!

Let's see if you guys can crack this code:






That's my sister and brother-in-law, and you better believe it guys - they're preggers!


Congratulations, Mallons, that's one lucky baby (with a hut for a room and a name like Cappy, what more could a child ask for!)

Chrissy from the Tonks

So there I was pulling into my parking spot, still riding the wave of having made 3, count them three, blogs today...when all of a sudden...what is this?

Two little girls.

They followed my car to my spot for some reason.

This conversation then happened:

"...hi" - me
"hiwouldyouliketobuylemonadeorpopforonlyaquarter?" - little girl
"oh...well, not really...I'm sorry" - me
"oh...really? You can just stand right here and I'll just whoosh over there and grab you one. You can just stay right here!" - little girl
"yeah, I just don't really want any soda right now" - me
"well, we have lemonade too!...sugarfree........I think...." - little girl
".......can I just give you a quarter?" - me
"...okay!" - little girl
I dig through my coin pocket for 25 cents.
"here's two dimes and a nickle" - me
"thanks!" - little girl running off with her quarter.


The other day I was driving in and this crowd of little boys stopped my car and tried to sell me koolaid for 25 cents.

Aww, summer in the 'burbs.



Have I mentioned that on Saturday night I saw a deer walk across my street?!

I DONT HAVE TO TAKE THIS IM GOING TO MY RANCH

An online "conversation" with Maren:

Maren: WHAT?
WHAT?
me: what?
Maren: I'm sorry, WHAT?
excuse me, I
am busy reading from the BLEEP.
me: haha
what?
Maren: hehehhe....
WHAT?
me: WHAT?
Maren: can I get a
me: what what?
Maren: YEAH!
me: it's been so long!
Maren: so long since WHAT?
what?
um.........
what?
me: huhh, what now?
Maren: WHAT a weird post on BLEEP.
what are you doing tonight?
what is the deal with me?
What kind of word is distractive?
me: I am going grocery shopping with anna leisa
I think that is the question I will choose to answer
Maren: WHAAAT?
WHAT!
me: what are you doing tonight? WHAT!!?
Maren: WHAT!!!!
whaaaaaaaaat????
what am I doing tonight?
me: yes
Maren: "What kind of curtains would you like sewn, mister Bauer?"
me: yes what
oh yes?
Maren: "what is it like to be a gcli wife, Maren?"
what about running? NOOO!
NO time!
What
tacos. i
it's what's for dinner.
what will you buy at the g-store?
me: haha
Maren, WHAT has happened?
Maren: what are you talking about?
TACOS!!!
me: WHAT is it like to be a gcli wife?
Maren: what?
TACOS!!!
what?
TACOSSS!
what?
what is it like to be a GCLI wife, Maren?
TACOS!!!
what?
me: WHAT!>????!!! GIVE ME ONE!
what what what what what what what
seven!
Maren: I WOULD, but what would you dow with it?
what kind of nonsense is going on here?
me: what are you KILLING?
Maren: what?
me: what!
Maren: what do you mean?
me: what about jon lovitz??
Maren: will I love it at Levitz?
what?
me: what's the deal with the mattress?
what?
Maren: what if I spent the rest of my life talking in questions starting with the word what?
WHAT!
your mattress!
are you front'n?
this is spiraling down so quickly.
there is no sense. no sense at all.
me: what about sidewinders???
what?
Maren: what about swervers?
me: speak up! what
Maren: what, hearing aids?
me: what about my grandma?
what about karl?
Maren: what about that router?
me: it routes thing
s
Maren: what? s?
what if it's time for me to get to work?
what about that?
me: what?? swearing????
s!!!
Maren: what? $()*#%)(?
what the &%($*?
me: a!!!!!
Maren: what is with us?
me: what!!!!
Maren: what kind of people are we?
what about children of God?
what about beloved by JC?
what about treasured folks?
so WHAT!
me: deep
Maren: :>)
what? sleep?
ok.
1.
2.
3.
I'm going!
bye!
me: bye!
Maren: thanks for the awkwardness!
me: and also with you

Grab a number, stand in line

Dear everyone in the Minneapolis area -
Do any of you own Weekend at Bernies and/or Weekend at Bernies 2? I am looking to get ahold of both these films by tomorrow evening. If you can help me out, please leave a message. Am willing to drive to inner suburbs/western suburbs only.

Love,
Christine

Weekends

Weekends are great. This weekend people moved me into a new apartment.

We got it all in one trip, thanks to two trucks, a station wagon and a van...then it was all placed in the apartment very quickly (due to a conveniently placed sliding door). Then Jodi fed us all great food.

Anna Leisa and I unpacked everything Saturday night - with a break for church and Davanni's (we missed Papa Murphy's by 11 minutes). My bookshelf collapsed, but with the help of Seth and Ann I now have a new bookshelf (and thanks to Anna Leisa, it is assembled).

Yesterday I got to know a man in India. We had a good long talk for about an hour and a half. We bonded over pinging ip addresses, and router check lights. Unfortunately it ended poorly when I told him he was being unfair. Hopefully he can forgive me.

I went grocery shopping, mega grocery shopping. I am excited to have groceries. I bought 4 boxes of wheat thins. 4 different flavors. Also goldfish, and cheezits and cereal and avocados. Yes! You guys, yes! Unloading my car was a joy as well, due to my convenient sliding door!


My apartment is nice, it's clean, it's spacious, and it's ready to entertain! So come over!


In other very exciting news...my friend Liz in Australia is getting married to a young man by the name of "Alan" this fall! Fall is Australian for spring! Last I saw Liz she was a woefully single Melbournian, and now she's in Brisbane with a fiance. What?? It's a little surreal how much can change over the course of two years, but I am very very excited for Liz...congratulations Liz!!

She once told me she has every desire to "beat" her mom in the childmaking business. Her mom has 11 kids. So Liz is going for at least 12.


This is a picture I found of Liz and I (Liz is in the middle). Look how cute she is...she's going to have a veil on her head in a few months.


In other exciting news, my cousin Tommy and his wife Emily are expecting a baby! Congratulations to them as well!! Two dogs, a young married couple, and a baby. Now that's what I call an Arizonian family.

An email from Jess

A few hours ago I got this email from Jess:

Do you know what I was thinking about? Weekend At Bernie's 2. How did Weekend At Bernie's end, and why was there the need for a 2?? Wouldn't he be decomposing by then? Or was there another dead guy they had to pretend was alive for some reason??? And I don't even remember the plot of Weekend At Bernie's, but thinking about it, it's so morbid, but hilarious. Why was that movie a light-hearted comedy? hahahah. Oh crap he's dead, well, let's slap some blue blockers and a fun-loving hawiian shirt on him and go through with this.

I think we should rent it on Wednesday.


Guess what I’m doing this Wednesday!

Oliva Newton Bonheim more like

I was emailing Christine and I wanted to do a myheritage celebrity match for her. I used this picture of her, jenna, hoops and I in Chicago. I found the results humorous.





Hoops is Tony Danza! Is this not the best news you've ever heard??

a strange conclusion

The more I look at those pictures, the more convinced I am that I actually do look like Larry King.